Young people

What If I'm a Bully?

Most people have bullied someone else at some time, whether they really meant to or not. Usually people feel sorry or bad about the way they have treated that person, but if bullying somebody doesn't make you guilty or sad, then you need to think about your actions.

You may think bullying gets you respect, or makes you look hard. But people who are bullied don't respect the person harming them, they just feel afraid of them.



If you want to be liked for who you really are, then you should try to change your behaviour towards other people.

People become bullies for many different reasons. A good way to stop is to work out why you have become a bully. Asking yourself the following questions may help:

Do you mean to hurt other people?

Do you bully people without realising?

Is something making you miserable?

Are you being bullied by somebody yourself?

Do you feel lonely or left out?

Do you like showing off in front of people?

Once you’ve worked out why you are a bully, you can begin to change your ways and make a new start. You could do some of the following things:

Say sorry to the people you have upset or harmed – they may take time to come around but eventually you will be trusted and can begin to make real friendships.
Get a new hobby or take up a sport – sports are a good way to be competitive and get rid of aggression without upsetting anyone. Starting a new interest will give you a chance to make a new start with people who don't know about your bullying.
Tell yourself you are a good person – by trying to stop your bullying you are proving to yourself that you really are a good person. Don't forget this.
Talk to somebody about your behaviour - you could have a chat with: a friend, family, a teacher, a free counselling service, a helpline.

Realising you might be a bully is a great way to begin to change.