Schools and learning

Bullying at School

Introduction

Schools aim to create an environment in which children and staff feel safe, secure and happy because this is when children learn most effectively. Most schools have behaviour management policies and codes of conduct which encourage everyone to treat each other with kindness and respect.

Some children may, however, suffer from being bullied at some time during their school life. In many cases this will be a passing incident which the child will cope with. But in some cases the effects can be serious and very upsetting.

If you think that your child is distressed because they are being bullied at school it is important that you talk to the school as soon as possible. Schools are keen to deal firmly with any case of bullying and once the school is aware of a problem it will want to take steps, with you, to sort it out.

What is bullying?

Bullying is where a person or a group exercise control over another against their will, often leaving the victim feeling powerless and alone.

Bullying behaviours have three things in common:

• It is deliberately hurtful behaviour.
• It is repeated over a period of time.
• It is difficult for those being bullied to defend themselves.

Bullying may involve one or more of the following behaviours:

• Physical - hitting, kicking, taking belongings.
• Verbal - name-calling, insulting, racist remarks, threats.
• Indirect - spreading nasty stories about someone, excluding someone from social groups.

Why do children sometimes bully other children?

Children might bully because:

• They may not have been taught that it is wrong to bully.
• They may think that it is just a bit of fun.
• They are copying older brothers and sisters, friends or people they observe.
• They do not know of more appropriate ways of mixing with their school friends.
• They are encouraged to bully by their friends.
• They are going through a difficult time at school or elsewhere.
• They themselves have been a victim of bullying.

How can parents and carers help schools prevent bullying?

Parents, carers and families have an important role to play in helping schools to deal with bullying. You should:

• discourage your child from using bullying behaviour at home or elsewhere
• take an active interest in your child's school life, discuss friendships, how playtime is spent and the journey to and from school
• watch out for signs that your child is being bullied, or is bullying others (parents, carers and families are often the first to notice a problem)
• contact the school at the first sign if you are worried that your child is being bullied or is bullying others.

What can you do if you think your child is being bullied?

Ask your child directly. Take any incidents of bullying that they tell you about seriously. Talk calmly with your child about their experiences. Make a note of what your child says. Reassure your child that he or she has done the right think in telling you. Encourage your child to talk to his or her teacher or form tutor. Be confident that the school will wish to help. Make an appointment to see your child's class teacher or form teacher and explain the problems your child is experiencing. Understand that your own child may need to change aspects of his or her behaviour. Never approach another parent directly. Do not encourage your child to retaliate.

How can you approach the school about your worries?

Contact your child's school as soon as possible to arrange an appointment to meet with his or her teacher or form tutor. Always try to be calm - the school will be keen to resolve the problem but it may be that they were not aware that there is a problem and in some cases the causes may be very complicated. Be as clear as possible about what your child says has happened - give dates, places and names of others involved. Ask if there is anything you can do to help your child or the school. Keep in touch with the school - let the teacher or form tutor know if things improve as well as if problems continue. Make an appointment with the teacher or form tutor to see how things are going.

What can you do if you are still worried?

Once the school is aware of a problem it is very likely that they will be able to deal with it effectively. If you have followed the advice in this leaflet and you are still worried you may wish to: make an appointment to discuss your concerns with the Headteacher ask for a copy of the school complaints procedures, if you feel that the school has not responded appropriately to your concerns.

What about the child that bullies?

Some children may be involved in bullying other children at one time or another. In fact, some children who are bullied, either at school or elsewhere, also bully other children. Parents and carers are often not aware that their child is involved in bullying others.

What can you do if the school tells you that your child is bullying other children?

Don't panic. Be assured that the school will want to work with you in a supportive way to change your child's behaviour. Don't think your child is dreadful. He or she is exhibiting some anti-social behaviour at the moment, which, if everyone works together, can be corrected. Be prepared to listen to the school and accept their advice.

How can you stop your child from bullying other children?

Talk with your child and explain that what he or she is doing is not acceptable and is making other children very unhappy. Discourage other members of your family from ever using bullying behaviour or from being aggressive to get what they want. Show your child how he or she can join in with other children without bullying. Make an appointment to see your child's class teacher or form tutor, explain how you can work together to stop your child from bullying other children. It is very important to work closely with the school. Regularly ask your child how things are at school. Give your child lots of praise and encouragement when he or she is co-operative or kind to other people.

Where can you get more help?

You can contact Hertfordshire County Council's Customer Focus Team who will offer advice. Telephone 01992 588542.

If the problems your child is experiencing continue and make them reluctant to go to school, the Education Welfare Officer attached to the school may be able to offer you some advice and support. Use the links on this page to find out information on the Hertfordshire Grid for Learning about the Hertfordshire Anti Bullying Initiative (HABI), and also information on national websites.

You will also find useful information and advice in the 2006 Hertfordshire County Council leaflet 'Bullying at school - information and advice for parents and carers'. An electronic version of the leaflet is attached to this page.